What if God…

What if God didn’t bring my plans to pass?

If, instead of first, I came in last.

If, instead of riches, I suffered lack.

Would I doubt my God

and turn my back?

If my best friend died, if I was attacked,

and someone cruelly turned their back,

would I blame the Lord? Would I shrink away,

turning my face from the light of day?

Would I shout, “Not fair!” And scream and cry?

Cross my heart and hope to die?

Stop my prayers, and brood and groan?

Would I really think: better off alone?

What if God stayed true, as I went astray,

watching over me, silently, night and day,

hiding Himself through all my distress,

as I longed to feel my soul caressed?

Would I struggle to trust Him, amidst all the mess,

standing on promises under duress?

It’s so easy, when everything runs smoothly on.

But, with many catastrophes, hope almost gone,

would I crumble in anger and think I was conned?

What if God simply waits for our souls to cry out,

sends a still, small Voice, to answer our shout, 

after we’ve wearied ourselves, and grown quiet?

Will we hear our name, when He quietly sighs it?

Now’s the time I’ll discover an answer to this,

as I crouch in hysterics, above an abyss.

Will I slide off, hopeless, by choice or design?

No trace of me, ever, for any to find?

But… what if this God I so stupidly fought,

shows mercy to me, and claims what He bought?

Saves this soul! Yes, me, this sinner so wretched!

I finally see, now that I am so aged!

But, what if it’s too late, and too long I’ve waited?

All my life spent so foolishly, spurning, debating.

Yet, what if God knew me before I was born, 

and saw this day coming, when I’m so forlorn?

What if God enters in, now the door’s been flung open,

bringing peace, and a healing to all that’s been broken?

What if God made and blessed me, then swept all away,

to get me to this point, so humbly, I’d pray,

“God, the wages of sin has brought life to this!”

What if God allows suffering to bring us to bliss?

Copyright © 2016 · All Rights Reserved · Regina Plimpton Quinn

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